How to pretend you’re not too interested (even if you are!)

When you finally meet that special someone that can be quite an exciting time. You feel like you want to spend every waking moment with them. People’s real lives get in the way of relationship bliss all too often. Sometimes, it is your partner who is choosing to spend more time away from you. Adjusting to the demands of a new relationship can be difficult. People have to have time for other things in their lives, apart from you. Don’t make the mistake of being too clingy, and ruining your chances of a healthy relationship.

do not be clingyMaking sure you don’t scare her away with your needs

Curbing Your Desire to be Clingy

I have scared off so many suitable partners with my needs. One has to understand that we all have different expectations of what a relationship should entail. Just because you want to run away together, and forget about the worries of the real world. That doesn’t mean your partner will want to do the same. Maybe they really liked their life before you were in it. They could have a life filled with fulfilling social activities already. Just because they have added you into their life, doesn’t mean they want you to be at the center of theirs.

Don’t Scare Them Away

Most people will get really afraid of someone who comes off too strong from the beginning. You have to learn how to play it cool. Sure, you’re really into them. That does not mean you have to tell them about every time you think of them. You should also never share your future plans for each other, right at the beginning of a fresh new relationship. Playing it cool means to stay interested, without coming off as a stalker. You have to balance your desires with their needs. If they do not want you waiting for them after they finish work, just don’t do it. Allow them to come to you.

Play it cool

You don’t actually have to be less interested in them, you just have to make it seem that way. If it is too hard for you to pretend, make yourself busier. Plan a busy schedule for yourself outside of the relationship. Go out and do activities that you enjoyed before you met that special person. Call up your friends and meet up. This may also make your romantic partner more interested in you. It is true the heart will grow fonder with distance. If you become a hot commodity, then they will ask to see you more. They may even become the clingy one, desiring you more than ever before.

Finding balance

With the beginning of any new relationship, it will be difficult to balance your life with your romantic interest’s, and the rest of your life. One must remember that no relationship is their entire life. Do not allow you neediness to make all other areas of life suffer. For example, do not allow this new relationship to corrupt your working abilities. It would not be wise to start prioritising this relationship over your career. You may be in love, but you still need to be a productive person in society. A love life does not make up the entirety of your life.

Do Not Take it Personally

If your partner wishes to spend some time alone, you must allow them to do so. You must not assume the worst, if this does in fact happen. Some people are just built differently. You may be an extrovert. Meaning, you receive energy, and positive affirmations about yourself around the company of others. If your partner is an introvert, that may mean that being around people for too long, drains them of their energy. Assess what kind of person you are dating. Allow them to themselves. Remember that we are all different. What makes them different from you, may be exactly what you’re attracted to.

Suggest an Open Relationship

An open relationship is one where each partner is allowed to find love inside, and outside of their relationship. This kind of agreement requires a lot of communication, and planning. If you feel like your partner finds you too clingy, perhaps, that is because they do not fulfill you. As stated above everyone is different. We all have different expectations of what we should receive in our coupling. If you feel like you are not getting the amount of love you need to be happy, you should look for ways to find it. This could mean having multiple romantic partners to fill your desires. Many couples are very happy with sharing each other with new people. This is something you can do together, or alone. The key to this is sharing everything. So that it is a mutual agreement between you both.